the musings of this nigerian gal

So sweet Holy Spirit has been harping at me to blog for the past two weeks — for those wondering the secret to my consistency, you have your answer. It’s the shout of the Holy Ghost 😂.

The problem is not because I don’t know what to write, it’s just the time to. Apparently, UI is out to get all its students, but them no fit catch me — emi righteous babe.

So, Sunday, two weeks ago was my fellowship’s freshers welcome.

The preparation was stretching. As in S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G. Long hours of rehearsal.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about the song the choir ministered.

Jireh (my provider) by Lecrae, Limoblaze and Hapi.

It all started one morning, as I was listening to the song. The thought “this will be a good song to minister for freshers welcome” quietly settled on my heart.

Immediately I agreed, the Holy Spirit lit on me. He disturbed me till I chatted my MD up, made the suggestion AND volunteered myself to do the rap.

I never rap outside the safe four walls of my room. Never ever ever.

Yet, here I was making the bold step — and what a bold step it was — to not just rap in front of people, but in front of a crowd, half of which I can confidently call strangers.

What if I messed up?

What if I didn’t?

Sweet Lord, what if I actually did?

What about the nuances?

What if my hands shake so bad I can’t even grip the microphone?

What if I can’t even look into the eyes of the congregants?

When Jesus walked on the waters, what thoughts ran through Peter’s mind when Jesus called him out?

Sure, Peter was the first to reach out. But after he reached out and Jesus reached out back to him, what thoughts ran through his mind?

How did he get his limbs to move?

How did he silence the imagination of his friends laughing at him when—if—he falls into the water?

The bible didn’t say. But it did tell us what he was doing when he began to sink.

He saw the wind boisterous.

When I was close to hyperventilating during rehearsal, the Holy Spirit kept whispering to me “forget those looking at you. Focus on the song. Focus on the rap. Focus on me.”

It’s all about what you choose to see.

Perspective, apparently, is the major ingredient in obedience.

The perspective of trust. Of dependence. Of hope. Of love. Of faith.

So I will keep stepping out on the unknown waters when the spirit of the Lord nudges the shoulder of my heart.

I will choose to see through His eyes and hold on to His hands.

I will cry out to Him when the waters seem to become a sinking sand.

The beauty is that He will always be with me. And surprisingly, that alone has proven to be enough.