the musings of this nigerian gal

Hello, guys. Look who is finally back — after a very long hiatus.😩

I could bore you with excuses but suffice it to say that the hiatus was a much needed one.

On to what is on the mind of this Nigerian gal.

Today is my sister’s birthday, and if you grew up in a Nigerian household like mine, you’ll agree that birthdays are big deals.

My mommy wakes the birthday shaid with prayers. When we were all still at home, the celebrant kneels while the rest of the family gather round her to pray and declare blessings into the new year. The birthday song is sung. The celebrant is dragged and drenched in water. Food that day is whatever the celebrant wants. And even when it isn’t officially a party, there is always music and dancing.

I remember few years ago, we forgot her birthday.

My mommy didn’t wake her up with prayers. After the regular morning devotion, she was not called to kneel down for everyone to surround her and pray for her. Nobody sang her the birthday song. Everyone dispersed like it was a regular normal day.

This was quite funny because the night before, her birthday was the only thing we could talk about. Even up till 12 am of May 20 that year, we were all awake reminiscing about how much she had grown and how we were going to torment her the next day. Until we went to bed and woke up and it was like everyone had partial amnesia.

Of course, my mommy was the first to remember and she called us back to do the rites but my sister’s heart was already broken. So broken, she kept crying despite how much we apologized.

I remember me in a bid to placate her telling her of the gift I wanted to surprise her with. Anything, just to let her know that even though we had momentarily amnesia, we could never forget her, nor do we love her less. I remember her replying with a choked voice, “it is not about the gift, it is the fact that nobody even remembered it.”

Recently, I faced some disappointments from the people I loved. People that I was expecting certain things from, yet didn’t show up when I needed. Like what happened above, they were genuinely sorry. But like my sister, my heart was already broken.

One day, I happened to be studying Luke 14:15-24, and the Holy Spirit said to me, “when you have something you want your loved ones to share in, call them. If by chance they are unavailable, call on others to share in your joy. But ensure that you celebrate, ensure that you share your joy. Don’t shut it down when those you want to be there can’t be there. They are humans, and intentionally or unintentionally, they will disappoint you. That is okay. Make allowances for this. Forgive them. But that should never stop you from enjoying yourself, or being happy or sharing your joy.”

Making allowances for their humanity means that you’re not removing them from the special space they take in your heart but that you are aware that the best of a man is still a man. Meaning that despite how much they love you, they are still imperfect and so are in need of grace. Newsflash, you are also imperfect and like them, you will disappoint them and so are in need of grace.

‭‭Colossians 3:13 (TPT‬‬): Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them.

In place of tolerate, NLT version says “make allowance for each other’s faults.”

It won’t be easy. The more precious the person is, the more his offense hurts. Yet God has given us the hack and that is remembering the one who forgave us.

1 John says that we love because he first loved us.

His love compels us. His love constrains us. His love strengthens us. His love sustains us. His love is all we need. His love has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

You can love the broken people in your lives. You can forgive their weaknesses. You can make allowances for their faults. Because now, his Spirit lives in you and has shed his love abroad your heart.