the musings of this nigerian gal

That is what God always say to me when I am either trying to ignore the pain in my heart or I am paying it much attention.

He will say, “it is okay to grieve, but don’t build a camp in misery. Allow yourself to heal. Don’t push the pain away; don’t pretend as if it is not there. Feel, mourn for the needed time and then move on to healing.”

Despite how many times he has said this, I still find myself either suppressing my emotions or wanting to overanalyze my pain. To be honest, I frequent the former street more often than I do the latter street.

I do not exactly know when but somewhere, somehow I started hating my feelings. I felt like feeling emotions towards people or allowing them to influence your emotions is giving them an arsenal to use against you. To me, feeling was a sign of weakness.

So when I allow a person into my space and the person hurt me, I suppress my emotions, cut all ties with the person and move on. Grieving was a waste of time.

I have gotten so used to this that even though I am learning now that emotions are not a sign of weakness, I still tend to suppress rather than grieve.

Though it is less obvious than the latter street, suppressing my emotions was still building camp in misery.

To begin the process of healing, one must first acknowledge that there is a wound. The hurt must come to light. Hiding it would only cause it to fester and before you know it, gangrene sets in and if nothing is still done, the person would lose his life.

Ephesians 5 verse 27 says that God wants to present us as one who is without blemish or spot and definitely without any festering wounds.

Don’t build a camp in misery by sticking your head in the sand or fortifying your mind against the truth. Rather invite Jesus into your pain.

Hebrews says we do not have a high priest that is removed from our weaknesses. Isaiah 53 says he himself bore our pains. He knows what it is like to have your heart broken, to have your hope shattered and crushed.

He does not just know, he also is ready to heal you.

The hack to not being lured into the street of suppression of one’s emotions or the street of drowning in one’s pain is to give it all to God.

Grieve but grieve your way to God. Don’t hide from the light. Allow God to shine his light on the pain. As you stare face to face with the pain, you will break. You will cry till you can’t cry anymore. But the beautiful thing about having God with you is that he will carry you.

His grace will be sufficient for you.

He will mend your broken heart whole again.

He will teach you to love again when it feels like you have no more love to give.

He will cause you to laugh again.

He will cause you to hope again.

And when all is said and done, you’ll find that he is your eternal great reward.