the musings of this nigerian gal

“Writing is both a science and an art.”

“Baking is more science than an art.”

“It takes art, not science.”

Whenever I hear statements like these, I imagine science to be straight lines, sterile walls, logical paths that never veer off tracks and objective formula that is guaranteed to produce results. But art?

Art was the unexpected, vital, organic expression of life. It is messy, colorful lines that have to be experienced to be appreciated. It is the soul of creation.

I just never expected it to be associated with surrender.

It was one evening when I was griping at the high demands of dependence God was asking for. What do you mean I have to give up this too? When I was just enjoying hoarding it from you??

That was when the thought came.

The art of surrender.

It is an art that has to be learned and just like every art, that learning is by experience.

Like art, the experience of the previous work can not be the frame work for the new.

Each experience is unique and distinctly it’s own. One whose voice, style and path you have to lean into.

I read a story where the author said that the story came to her in the first pronoun. When I read that, I was like, “phu-leeze. Psychic, much?”

To me, you decide what pronoun you want to write your story in. It was like pieces of shoes that you tried till you found the one that fit.

Until it happened to me.

A story dropped into my mind, all tied up in the pronoun it wanted to be written in.

There is no formula to surrender.

It is like a bulb of onion that keeps hitting you differently in your eye with every slice you make.

Just when you think giving up the Irish guy is the destination your surrender journey is supposed to take you, he shocks you by telling you he wants you to throw in the American, Nigerian and Latino guys too.

One Sunday you are crying out your eyes, telling him that you give him your heart, your life and your world. And on Monday, he is giving you the cherry tart you’ve been eyeing for months, and immediately asks you to give it back to him.

The response he expects is the same: surrender but the the paths it take is crazily different, designed to wreck you, until he has a hundred percent of you — present you and future you.

One of the reasons why most of us struggle in this Christianity is because we see surrender like a formula.

Say some magic words.

Cry a few tears.

Give him your past and part of your present.

Throw in a cubicle in the office of your life.

That should do it.

He should be satisfied enough to not want to invade every area.

Agree to the crazy idea he has cooked up.

That should satiate him enough to let you come up with a game plan — why should he want me to check in with him for every step I want to take? Not when he gave me the brain and the mind for that.

God, however, is crazy in love with us. He doesn’t only yearn to be close to us, he wants us to be close to him.

James 4:8a NKJV
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

He wants your heart to beat to the same rhythm his heart thumps to. That kind of sync and alignment only comes to surrender.

Absolute and complete surrender.

Every year.

Every month.

Every week.

Every day.

Every hour.

Every minute.

Every second.

Every nanosecond.

In every place at every time in every thing.

It is a tall order, but like every art, our lives are better for it.

The beautiful thing about surrender is it doesn’t make you weak. Rather, you are stronger for it.

— The Holy Spirit