the musings of this nigerian gal

Envy and jealousy are very funny things.

They make you hate good things.

Naturally, when you see something good — for example, someone gets married or buys a house — what should be your response? Shouldn’t it be celebration? Even if it is clapping in glee or laughing out loud. Something in you should respond to the goodness unfolding before you.

Because, after all, who doesn’t like good things?

However, when envy or jealousy gets its claws into you, seeing goodness leaches the joy out of you.

It is so irrational, I can’t even begin to explain it.

Envy whispers into your ears and when you consider it, it settles on your heart, a heavy weight that sucks your lips into your mouth, tightens your shoulders in victimized defense, and guides your eyes to search for the fault in the good.

It is a weight. I know, I’ve allowed it settle on my shoulders many times.

For no reason at all, you are just angry.  Someone will crack a joke and it’s like you should just punch him. When others laugh with the celebrant, you call them bootlickers.

Envy blinds you. It narrows your vision until you can literally see the pores and moles on every person.

It convinces you that you can do without the goodness you are seeing. After all, what is so special about a car? After all, all her dancing and singing doesn’t means she knows Jesus. After all…

What you don’t know is that you are cutting yourself off from the reality unfolding right in front of you, because you can never attract what you hate.

Revelation 19:10 says the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy. We can take that to mean that every time a testimony of the goodness of Christ is shared, it is in fact a prophecy. A prophecy you can lay hold of and bring that same reality into your life.

This is why we share testimonies.

This is why we rejoice with those who rejoice.

Because thanksgiving opens you up to faith and faith helps you to lay hold.

Envy, though? Envy cuts you off from every good thing.

It slows you down from making progress.

It makes you so miserable, the only posture you can make with your hands is to be tightfisted.

Eventually, it eats your health until your heart give up. Even then, it convinces you your bad health is the fault of some rich man or dead woman.

Envy is the blindfold the devil hands to people on the journey to greatness.

It is the weight he ties on their shoulders through seduction and victimization.

It is a weight, but it is not yours. It was never yours.

You can choose to return it to its sadistic owner.

You can choose to close your ears to the seductive lies by which it ensnares you.

Hebrews 12 says let us lay aside every weight that so easily beset us. They might do easily beset us but they never belonged to us.

So child of God, stop holding on to it.

Stop holding on to the arguments.

Stop holding on to the hurt that has been acting as a justification for your surly and envious attitude.

Stop holding on to the smokescreen of lies and deceits.

You can end its reign over your heart. It is simple. Just respond in love. Whether or not, you feel it. Whether or not you are convinced it just might kill you.

Love is the answer and He lives in you.